The 30 Excuses of Loki
by Kaitaru Stark-Laufeyson
Summary: When watching the film, we all knew there were certain...drawbacks to the cage when Loki was put in there, didn't we. For example, going to the toilet, etc, etc. ;D
1. Chapter 1

The 30 Excuses of Loki.

Chapter 1.

* * *

Loki raised his head to look at Steve Rogers as the man walked past the cage.

"Hey, wait." He called.

The Captain paused and half turned his head to look at him. "What?" He asked.

"I need to go the toilet."

"Wet yourself then." Rodgers shrugged, walking out.

* * *

_**Most of these will be like this, short amusing five-ten liners.  
Just to brighten up your day.  
Please review! ^_^  
Kai XxxXxxX**_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Thor stared at his brother from the door way, watching as Loki stared back intently with tears streaming down his face.

"Please brother..." Loki pleaded.

"Loki..." Thor started, slightly wary of what his brother was about to say.

"Our grandmother, she's sick...I need to say my farewells before her sould departs-"

"OUR GRANDMOTHER DIED LONG AGO LOKI." Thor roared angrily.

There was a silence.

"...I meant our other grandmother?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Loki watched as Natasha approached the cage.

"As pretty as you are my dear, I'm afraid I already have a date." Loki said calmly. "In fact, would you mind giving me a lift to the...Schwarma? I'm meeting her there in half an hour, and I need to get ready."

Natasha raised her eyebrow. "Like you could get a date." She snorted.

Now it was Loki's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Is she blind? Or did you use an online dating site? Because those things lie all the time."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"Barton!" Loki yelled.

Hawkeye stared down at Loki through the top of the cage, remaining silent.

"I crave satisfication." He continued. "Let me go and see Natasha. I'll make sure she...enjoys her time."

Barton raised an eyebrow.

"Not as much as I enjoyed your mum." He muttered, jumping off of the cage and disappearing.

Loki stared after him in horror.

"YOU SICK BASTARD. THAT'S MY MOTHER."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

The scientist watched Loki from his chair outside the cage.

"Hey, Banner." Loki said casually.

Banner raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"You're a doctor right?" The god asked.

"Scientist." Banner corrected with a sigh.

"So you agree that everyone needs to do daily exercise in different places so that the mind doesn't get bored?"

Bruce chuckled quietly to himself and looked down at his folded arms before back at Loki.

"Nice try."

"Damn."

* * *

_**Just want to say a huge THANK YOU TO YOU FREAKING AWESOME PEOPLE! Who reviewed. I think someone wrote:I was calmly smiling and giggling until "Not as much as I enjoyed your mum." Then I snorted and fell off my bed.**_  
_** ^You made me troll as soon as I read that. I'm glad it had this effect. =')  
**_  
_**Apart from that, thank you for reviewing, because it means people are actually reading this! **_  
_**  
Do you understand how happy this makes me? =D Literally. I sit and fangirl scream at my inbox. 8)**_  
_**  
So keep reviewing guys! You now get another three chapters! =D**_  
_**  
Kai XxxXxxX**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Loki stared at the glass that surrounded him.

He'd never felt this bored.

Not even on Asgard.

"Can I have like...A ball or something?" He asked boredly.

Clint snorted. "What, to make up for what's missing between your legs?" He asked.

Loki sighed. "Yeah, very funny."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter7.

Tony Stark smirked at Loki from the other side of the glass as the god rolled over onto the other side of the plastic shelf of a bed inside the cage.

"Comfortable yet?" He called.

"Shut up." Loki muttered.

Stark walked around until he was on the other side, watching his face as it contorted in fury. "How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"NO."

"...How about now?"

"Seriously, SHUT UP. I'm actually trying to go to sleep." Loki snapped.

"I know." Stark grinned.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

"I get the feeling I'm being looked at like a hamster in a cage." Loki said in annoyance as he glared at Barton who was staring at him rather intently.

"Thats one fuck ugly hamster."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

"AND THIS WILL BE THE DAY THAT YOU ALMOST-"

The fire alarm going off loudly cut off his exclamation rather abruptly.

"Sorry, false alarm." Agent Hill's voice sounded out over the tannoy.

"I'm afraid quoting Jack Sparrow won't get you anywhere either." Coulson said, turning another page of his newspaper.

"Who's Jack Sparrow?" Loki asked in disgust.

* * *

**_I am feeling,_ **INCREDIABLY _**generous today.  
So what?  
I decided to give you two more updates. ;D**_

_**Enjoy.  
AND THANK YOU TO ALL YOUR REVIEWS! Some of them made me laugh, =)  
Kai XxxXxxX**_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

"Banner!" Loki screamed.

Bruce raised a worried eyebrow. "Now what?"

"YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE ME TO THE STORE TO GET SOME TAMPONS."

"What?" Banner asked incredulously.

"I'M ON MY PERIOD." Loki screamed, his eyes wide and terrified.

Bruce couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

"Natasha, can you let me out for five minutes so I can have a shower?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's fine. I can't smell you if you're in there."

* * *

_**Because I have a Physics exam tomorrow (NOOOOO!) I'm gonna be REALLY REALLY RRREEAAALLLY nice and give you another THREE Updates.**_

I don't know if you're actually reading this, but I'm going to pretend you are.  
So.  
Hello!  
Thank you SO much for all of my reviews, I'm absolutely ecsTATIC. 30 reviews right now. 30! And I'm doing 30 chapters! As Tom Hiddleston would say; Ehehehe. ;D  
Just a hint here by the way, one of you, not sure who it was, commented on another of my fics, Order from Mischief, which is another Loki pranking fic. I was delighted to hear that you'd read it, can I say.  
And yes. I do know I'm brilliant. Thank you for pointing it out. Most kind. (-Aha, Stark moment. ;D)  
Carrying on. I hope you have seen the ASDF movies on youtube, if not, look them up. They're hilarious. Because...I shall be referencing to them in a couple of later chapters.

PLEASE keep reviewing. Everytime I get one, I scream in happiness and my mum thinks I'm high on something. I am. Obsession high. ;D  
Aren't we all? x)

Also. If we get past 100 reviews by the time I've got to chapter 30, I promise to do a couple of spin-offs. Since a lot of people are asking for them. If there's a spin off you specifically want me to do, name it, and if we do get past 100, I'll do it for your and put your name at the top. Think of it as a gift. ^_^

Ah well, must go tease the Avengers some more! =D *Skips away gaily.*

Kai XxxXxxX

(p.s; God I ramble sometimes...XD)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

The groaning emitted from the cage was unbearable.

"Shut up." The Captain growled, having endured this for the past two hours.

Loki pulled a sickly face. "I'm dying..."

"Good. Die quietly." Steve muttered, used to this kind of thing by now.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

The cage was silent.

The Captain was kind of thankful for that, Loki was one of those non-stop talkers.

If you gave him incentive.

"I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that'll get on your nerves, and this is how it goes." Loki suddenly started to sing, way out of tune than actually necessary.

Steve groaned. "Shut up, Loki."

"Are you going to let me out?"

"No."

"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves-"

And so it continued.

Sometimes Steve really hated his job.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

Stark had his head in his hands, trying to focus on something other than the annoying song that was coming out of Loki's mouth.

"When I walk into a cage, this is what I see, all of the Avengers, a'hatin' on me, I got me army and I ain't afraid to use use it- use it- use it...I'm Loki and I _know_it."

Said god suddenly started raving in the cage.

"If you don't let me out, I'll do this all day!" Loki yelled, still dancing madly.

Stark glared at him suddenly. "Oh yeah? Then you can sit and listen to _this_all day." He retorted, pulling out an Ipod and placing it in a docking station.

Putting a song on, he made sure he pressed repeat as he walked out and left it on the chair.

Justin Bieber's 'Baby' song started playing at full blast.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! I'M SORRY. LET ME OUT. _LET ME OUT!_" Loki screamed, pressing himself againt the glass of the cage in desperation.

* * *

**_Bet you guys were worried I wasn't going to update, ne? xD_**

**_Well...MY PHYSICS WAS ALRIGHT! =D And now I am going to sleep. I have and R.E exam tomorrow, and for any Naruto fans out there, I'm probably going to sit and write to the examiner about how I believe Jashinism is the way forward. X'D _**

**_But hey. OH MY GOD GUYS! I'M ON 50 REVIEWS! =D =D =D =P Hmm...It looks like I may be doing spin-off's after all at this rate. That's if you guys rack it up to 100 that is. xD I cannot say how much all of your reviews make me laugh, how some of you laugh openly, at work or school (when you're not supposed to, but hey, join the club. ;D), and I think one of you reads this daily on the bus. _**

**_Well, my aim is to start you day with a laugh and to just 'make your day'. ='3 If I'm doing that, then I have succeeded. =')_**

**_Thank you again! Happy reading! ^_^ Keep the reviews coming (Or else Loki might find another use for that helmet. O_o)_**

**_Kai, XxxXxxX_**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

Loki looked at his pretend watch in horror.

"CRAP. I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL." He screamed.

"Detention." Banner said without looking up from his paper.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

"LET ME OUT." Loki yelled, his eyes wild.

"Hah. Original." Stark laughed shortly.

Loki looked to him pleadingly, seeming to shrink into himself. "No please, I'm claustraphobic. The walls...they're shrinking...THEY'RE SHRINKING." He shrieked.

"Oh well. Let's hope they crush you then. It'll sort out our problems." Stark replied happily.

* * *

**_WOW GUYS! 22 REVIEWS IN ONE NIGHT! O_O Have I mentioned that I love you all? T^T *happy sniffling*...I love you all...;D_**  
**_I'll keep this brief, because SOMEONE out there...I won't spoil it, but I think it was ? You'll have to wait until the last chapter my friend (which yes, has already been written. ;D)._**  
**_And Darth? Yes. Yes you may, and I would be honoured. =') (By the way, my Tumblr is 'MadnessIsJustTheBeginning', so let me know when you've done it! I'd love to see it!) XD_**

**_KEEP REVEIWING PLEASE!_**

**_Live long...and laugh. ;D (Who needs prosper? XD)_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

"You know. I do actually have a spare key...One that could unlock this cage." Loki said slyly.

"Loki," Thor sighed heavily. "It is not opened simply by a key. It is a more complicated device than that. A human one."

"...Damn it all."

* * *

_**Why am I uploading another TWO I hear you ask...**_  
_**_ **_  
_**_**_  
_**_**_

_**You're reviews made me feel special. **3**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

"I have to go, I have an exam." Loki said, glancing at the Captain out of the corner of his eye.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Well. You'll just have to fail it then won't you. I mean, you're pretty good at that already."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19.

"I could black mail you to let me out of here." Loki said slyly, staring at Natasha weirdly.

She shrugged. "So could I. Unloved. No life. Should have been a king. Now you're an Unloved-No-Life-King. Got your ass kicked by people in weird outfits and not to mention one of them is a girl-"

"YOU'RE A MONSTER." Loki screamed, crying into his hands.

* * *

_**You guys are incredible...do you know that? I'M ON 92 REVIEWS AND I'VE GOT TEN CHAPTERS LEFT! O_O**_

_**Looks like I'll be doing some spin-offs after all. But, but, but...I REFUSE to do spin-offs of spin-offs. Otherwise, I'll just have BRANCHES of spin-offs and it'll all get very confusing. XD**_

_**However...Some of you have been putting in a few suggestions...Put in anything! If you've looked at one of the chapters and thought 'that would be so funny if...', then tell me! You never know, I might put it in there. I might, I might not. Sometimes I won't put something in because I don't get it, but I do listen! Well...read. x)**_

_**Anyhow, hope you enjoy these next few chapters, as I personally think they're the best.**_  
_**(Even though everyone has repeatedly said they liked the tampon one best so far...O_o [I agree, it WAS rather amusing wasn't it.] ;D)**_

_By the way, if this gets past 101 (DALMATIONS) reviews with this one chapter within the next ten minutes, I'll upload the next chapter too. ;D_  
_**  
Happy Hunger G-I mean reading! ;D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Doctor, Doctor!" Loki suddenly cried out pressing his palm on the glass as he looked to Banner desperately.

Banner sighed, finally giving in and looking at Loki, who'd been doing the 'Doctor Doctor' jokes the whole time he'd been stood there. "What?" He asked in exasperation.

"I think I'm a homosexual!"

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "And how did you figure that one out?" He questioned in slight amusement.

Loki opened his mouth and produced a vomiting sound, using his powers to create his illusion. "RRAAAIIINNBBOOWWSS." Came the screamo growl. As he said it, rainbows spewed from the back of his throat and coated the glass.

Banner stared.

* * *

**_...I have 109 reviews...I've never had more than 60 before. T^T I love you guys SO much...Keep reviewing please!_**

**_And just cause I can...TO;_**  
**_Nobody, Mrs. Catherine Potter, Insert Cool Name Here, Fluffybunny39, TwoFlowersAndABunchOfTrees, OnnaMusha, Skullanddog, Sorry that's classified, a helper, MRS. waitforit. STARK, alessfansama, Aviarianna O Lorien, electracait, HellsTheTwerd, CaptainPollux, Aya Toshu, NyanNyanNyan, TheQuestionThatRemains, ConfusedSoAmI, Anon, TheYellowArtist, Huggablelove, Gabrielle Lerman, Project alpha BBB, kioku7, Victoria Nope, Lena7623, KiwieStarr, Raccon Girl, Knight Mistress, Packersfan12, AllThingsAreBene, mage of day 13, , Darth Tromeros, LaughingLadybug, JeanieBeanie33, KatNJH, TheNightFury, Truly Dangerous, Jet the Scourging Microraptor, Arrows the Wolf, The Anger Who Wore Converse, 8fangirl8, Huntress Under Seige, extraordinary geek, Saffa, Anjali Katari, BT The Question Mark, Amaterasu77 (YES FOR NARUTO BTW!), Duthae cilthri, Ysab, AgentOfRedAndBlue, Pergjithshme, GamerRCL0505, Beauty4estGreen, WoolRanch, dragoneye, lotRfan, littledhampir13, Lin, livingintheshire, wiggalator, Taylor, . , Sharpshooter7, whenthesunlight-dies._**

**Oh my jashin that took me at least 10 mins to do...O_O**

**STILL. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. Some of you have been reading at work/school, others on the bus, some fall off your beds, scare your cats, upset your neighbours, weird out your parents, give me suggestions which (**_really_**_) set my brain going...=D_**

**SO GO AND PARTY! YOU DESERVE IT. I AM ON 109 REVIEWS, AND I LOVE EVERY. ONE. OF YOU FOR IT. 'Cause I have fun writing them, and I sit there in hysterics reading all your funny reviews. =')**

**The next few chapters will probably have you rolling around, I warn you now. I troll'd whilst writing them. There's a couple of ASDF movie quotes too. (As you can tell from this one. ;D)**

**ANYWAY. I'VE RAMBLED FOR TOO LONG. SHUT UP KAI! X'D**

**_(STILL LOVE YOU ALL!)_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

"Stark." Loki called.

The billionare, playboy, philanthropist looked over in slight intrest.

"I'll take that drink now."

"Sorry, I was told not to get you drunk."

"Why?"

"Because Thor told us some rather amusing tales of the past, and as much as I'd like to personally see you drunk, Natasha said she might get mentally scarred."

Loki groaned. Why did his brother have to be such an ass?

"He promised he'd never tell anyone..."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

Loki grinned at Banner.

"Hello there mine turtle!" Loki beamed.

A thin green vain formed at the side of Bruce's forehead.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

Loki grimaced as his stomach growled, and he scowled at it. "I feel so hungry that I could eat a whole Nhrling*."

Stark adopted a typical American teenage girl accent with a smirk. "Uhh...Would you like fries with that...?"

* * *

_***Nhrling - No idea. Some random asguardian animal akin to a hog that I have JUST made up.**_

**_Sorry I didn't update last night, but I'm doing it now! =D_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.

"IF YOU DO NOT LET ME OUT OF HERE, I WILL KILL EVERYONE. EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD, AND I'LL START WITH THAT PATHETIC AGENT COULSON." Loki roared to Thor, who merely raised an eyebrow.

"Loki...One does not simply, kill Phil."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

From the Bridge, the Avengers heard a voice rise in volume, filled with self-pity and sorrow. And way more out of tune than necessary. "SO SAAAAAAD...SO SAAAAAAAD...IT'S A SAD SAD SITUATIIIIIOOOOOOON~!"

"...Someone put that bloody thing out of its misery." Banner groaned.

Barton stood up and slung his bow over his shoulder.

"Where are you going Clint?" Natasha asked in confusion.

"Going on a deer hunt." He replied shortly, putting on a racoon-tailed hunting hat.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

"I HAVE A TIME MACHINE YOU KNOW."

Steve Rogers raised an eyebrow disinterestedly. "Oh really now?"

"YES, SO IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, IT WILL ACTIVATE, DRAGGING IT BACK UNTIL YOU WERE NEVER BORN, ANY OF YOU. I SHALL TAKE THIS WORLD, AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO NOTHING ABOUT IT."

"Yeah, sure." Steve snorted, unimpressed. "Ok."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27.

Loki clapped a hand to his forehead. "SHIT. I LEFT THE OVEN ON!" He cried.

Clint folded his arms over his chest, looking into the cage though his sunglasses as he sang quietly. "Loki's home is burning down, burning down, burning down. Loki's home is burning down, why is he not in it?"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

Loki was sat in the middle of the cage, rocking back and forth as he performed what looked like to be some kind of tribal sacrifice, using his helmet as a sacrifice as he closed his eyes and raised it to the heavens -or rather, ceiling-.

Stark was stood watching in amusement as he filmed it on his phone, but he looked over his shoulder as Banner walked past. "What's he doing?" The scientist asked.

The genius, billionare, playboy, philanthropist shrugged. "I don't know. I think's he playing the 'I'm so crazy that they need to come in here, put me in a straightjacket and take me to a mental hospital' card." He sniggered.

Banner shook his head. "What'd I tell you. Crazy as a bag of cats..."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.

"If you tell us everything we want to know, I'll bake you a pie..." Clint tried persuading, since nothing else was really working with the demi-god, who either said 'no' or 'only if you let me out'.

Both of which were not options.

"Hn...Only if you let me out." Loki stated. Suddenly he thought about it. "Wait, what flavour would it be?"

"_**Pie flavour**_." Clint said demonically.

Loki stared.


	30. Chapter 30!

**_Well guys...we've come to the end._**

**_This is...the 30th Excuse...of Loki._**  
**_(Dun dun duuuuuuun!)_**

**_I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and if you haven't already, favourite this story, because if you haven't been reading these little author notes, then you're in for a little surprise...;D_**

* * *

Chapter 30.

Loki was sprawled out on the floor, his lips and mouth completely dry.

"Ok, guys. SERIOUSLY." He pleaded. "I NEED a DRINK. Mortal or not. Give me something. What's that human drink, the...the caffeine one. COFFEE. I NEED COFFEE." He roared.

All of the Avengers, including Agent Phil and Director Fury, entered the cage one after the other.

Looking around at the others first, Stark reached forwards and offered Loki a polystyrene cup.

Loki eagerly took it and took a sip.

Almost immediately, he spat it back out in disgust, handing it back to Stark.

"This isn't coffee!" He growled angrily.

"No." Natasha said.

"It's not." Clint agreed.

"There's no coffee in it." Banner interjected.

"Nope, no coffee." Steve said happily.

"None at all." Phil added.

"But, that's because it's decaf." Stark explained, taking a sip himself.

"That means no caffeine, brother." Thor expanded for him.

Suddenly the Avengers all started laughing hysterically. "HAHAHAHAHA! LOKI'D!"

Loki groaned and slammed his face to the floor.

Faceground. Because sometimes facepalm isn't enough.

* * *

_**And. We. Are. FINISHED! =D**_

**_('NOOOOOOO!' I hear you all scream in the background!)_**

**_OH! And before I forget, don't forget to visit fluffybunny39's profile soon, who is doing a fic similar to the spin-offs I'm about to do! Isn't that awesome? More hilarious-ness in two places! =D GO. GO. GO! ^^D_**

**_Well then..._**

**_I take my hat off to you guys who have all read and reviewed, I'm absolutely delighted to have been able to make you laugh until-you-can't-breathe-and-nearly-die. ^-^_**

**_Kaitaru Seras Viktoria Hatake. XxxXxxX_**  
**_(But you can call me Kai.) ;D_**  
**_*Cheshire Cat Vanish*_**


	31. Chapter 31

**THE 30 EXCUSES OF LOKI.  
THE RETURN.  
OF  
**

**The Eleven (or so) Spin-Off Chapters.**

**Spin-Off; Chapter 22.**

Loki's beam hadn't faded, and Banner's thin green line was slowly getting larger as he scowled, trying not to look at the cage.

"You know," Loki said conversationally, "you could technically be the O_riginal _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle...You know...you're like the X-men first class. The first _generation_of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles th-"

"Yeah, well if you value the _choice _of whether or not you wish to make your _own _generation, shut up. I'm coming _that_close to taking that decision away from you." Banner said dangerously, finally fixing his calm eyed stare upon the demi-god, whose smirk suddenly turned neutral and he fidgeted from where he sat.

He also crossed his legs.

Just in case.

* * *

_**I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END OF THIS FIC, DIDN'T YOU? **_DIDN'T YOU_**?**_

_**Well MWAHAHAHAHA! I bring you a bonus ELEVEN Spin-Off Chapters! =D Don't you feel loved?**_

_**And by the way, 200+ REVIEWS! =D**_

_**If these bonus chapters make it up to 300...I will be over the moon, to potterverse, onepieceverse, narutoverse, hungergamesvers, , avengersverse, timbucktoo, kingdom come AND BACK AGAIN...All in time for tea. ='3**_

_**But still, I hope you enjoy these bonus chapters.**_

_**There's bits of things like The Nightmare Before Christmas...and other stuff. I got quite a few of the ideas off people's reviews. O_o You'll know who you are those people, when you read them. I took one as a direct quote, like this chapter. ;D**_

_**THIS IS WHY I LIKE REVIEWS. IT LETS ME DO STUFF LIKE THIS. SO KEEP REVIEWING PEOPLE! CONSTRUCTIVE FUN! ^^D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	32. Chapter 32

Spin-Off; Chapter 14.

Clint raised his eyebrow at Stark as he stormed out of the detention area. "Stark?" He asked, making the genius, billionare, playboy, philanthropist stop and glare at him in annoyance.

"What?" He snapped.

Clint barely flinched at the tone. "Why do you have Justin...whatever. _That song _on your Ipod?" He questioned with a smirk, his arms folded over his skinny yet muscled chest.

Tony's face was shadowed with darkness, to which the master archer took a slight step backwards. "_Somone," _He hissed, "took my Ipod and downloaded the entire album onto it and locked them onto it so that if I delete them, I delete everything else too. If I find who it was..." He trailed off dangerously.

The assassin nodded slightly. "I-I see." He replied meekly. "Well...uh...good luck with finding out who it was."

Tony came up close to him and scrutinized him suspiciously. "You wouldn't know who it was...would you?"

A violent shake of his head was his answer. "Nope. No not at all. And it's not me either before you say anything. I...don't even know how to work those things."

The suspicion faltered slightly as Tony drew back with a deep breath. "Hm...good." He nodded, clapping Clint on the shoulder and walking off, disappearing into the labyrinth of the Helicarriers corridors.

Clint breathed a sigh of relief. '_Thank god Natasha taught me how to keep a poker face...' _He thought_._

* * *

**_GAH! Sorry I updated later than usual. O_o  
But still.  
I had LOADS of reviews on chapter 14 saying; Why the HELL does Tony have that song on his Ipod?  
Well...Now you know. And if he finds who it was *COUGHBartonCOUGH*...then he'll figure out a plan of attack-Oh wait. He has a plan.  
Attack.  
;D  
Kai XxxXxxX_**


	33. Chapter 33

**_Chapter 27; Spin-Off._**

Loki pressed his hand flat to the glass and glared at Clint. "You're going to let me out." He said calmly.

Clint snorted and put a hand on his hip. Then to Natasha's astonishment from where she was watching outside in the control room, he started singing...pretty well.

"You're jokin', you're jokin'. I can't believe my ears! Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears...It's funny, I'm laughing! You really are too much...And now, with your permission...I'm going to do my stuff." Clint sang as he jumped onto the top of the cage.

"So...what are you going to do?" The demi-god asked, eyeing Clint slightly warily through the thin grating.

Clint smirked and raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna do the best I can."

With that he pulled back the unloaded string of his bow and released it. Loki winced and turned his head to the side, and although nothing had been shot, a thin line of red trailed down from a thin cut on his cheekbone.

"Oh, the sound of pleading to me is like music in the air...'Cause I'm a gamblin' Avenging man, although I don't play fair." Clint sang with a grin. "It's much more fun, I must confess, when lives are on the line...Not mine, of course, but yours, oh boy now that'd be just fine."

Loki's eye twitched in annoyance and chanted back to him. "Release me now or you will be the first to die for this _pathetic_attempt-"

Clint smirked as he chuckled lightly and hopped down from the top of the cage to stand beside it and look at Loki once more. "Oh brother, you're something, you put me in a spin...you really aren't comprehending, the position that you're in. It's hopeless! You're finished! You haven't got a prayer!" Clint emphasized before his voice took on a more deadly tone that made Loki freeze up a little. "'Cause WE'RE, the _Avengers_...And you ain't going, _Nowhere..._"

With that, he turned and swiftly leapt up into one of the vents that lead to the control room, dropping down into a seat beside his red-haired partener.

Natasha stared at Clint. "What the hell?" She asked.

"When in doubt, sing a song and hope your enemy dies." Clint shrugged.

* * *

_**THANK YOU TO SAFFA FOR THAT IDEA! I cracked up when I read your review on that chapter, 'when in doubt sing a song and hope your enemy dies', and I just** had**to use it IMMEDIATELY! x'D**_

**_For anyone that doesn't know that song, firstly, shame on you! Secondly, it's from the Nightmare Before Christmas, Oogie Boogie's song. ='3_**

**_OH. AND THIS BIT IS IMPORTANT. I need to know, (so tell me either YES. or NO. in your reviews) does anyone know A Very Potter Musical? Because in about two chapters time, I'm going to be using one of the songs from it...;D_**

**_By the way, a couple of them aren't really going to be spin-offs, more like small...ficlets I guess. But they were too good to pass up. XD  
_**

* * *

**AND BEFORE I FORGET, VERY. VERY. VVVERRRYYY IMPORTANT;  
****  
**_**Look up 'Loki Drabbles' by Fishing Four Finnick. If you go to the review pages on her, you can get to her profile from there. But...it's very much like this fic in humour, and it's absolutely GENIUS! GO! People, GO! It's BRILLIANT! =D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	34. Chapter 34

**_AVPM Spin-Off._**

Steve and Thor were talking, when they suddenly realised...It was too quiet. Just as Thor turned towards the cage, Loki stepped off of his little raised plastic bed and sat underneath it, adopting a forlorn look.

(_**A/N: AVPM LOVERS, SING WITH ME!)**_  
Then he started to sing. "Underneath this bed, I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my brother, and his pathetic friends..." He sang, glaring at the two of them before taking back his forlorn look. "...Can't believe how petty they are, for their world is a scar, on this universe...that's waiting to be ruled...I know I don't deserve this, I'm a god made to rule them, but I'm stuck, iiiiiiiin this cage...Can't take these fucking humans...but despite all of my struggles...I wii-iill be king!..."

"SHUT UP LOKI." Thor shouted.

"I get it!" The Captain suddenly cried, making Thor stare at him. "I...I got that reference." Steve continued rather sheepishly.

* * *

_**It was too good to pass up guys. X'D**_  
_**  
And I couldn't BELIEVE how many AVPM fans there are out there! O_O YOU LEGENDS! XD**_  
_**  
...Now come on guys...Admit it, who sang it with me? ;D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 23; Spin-Off.**

Loki stared at him. "Why do I want fries?" He asked.

Stark pretended to look uninterested, checking his nails as though he watched a girl watching his nail polish dry. "And what drink do you want with tha'...?"

"I don't want any of your stupid human food." Loki growled.

"Any ketchup sir?"

"What's catch-up? Look, stop it. Your disgusting human food is-"

"Can you drive round please?"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR-"

"Look." Stark said, keeping his sulky girl teenager act up. "If you don't like McDonalds, KFC is just down the road."

"WHAT THE HELL DOES KFC STAND FOR?"

Stark held a hand up with a teenage flourish. "If you don't stop your threatening behaviour sir, I'mma have to call security."

Loki stared at him, feeling slightly lost.

* * *

**_Too hard to resist...;D_**

Kai XxxXxxX


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 10; Spin-Off.**

Loki looked up as Natasha walked in holding up two different types of tampons and a set of pads. The demi-god started to choke upon seemingly nothing at just the sight of them, making Natasha raise an eyebrow at him.

"Banner told me you needed these, but I wasn't sure which type you use, so I brought a variety."

Loki turned scarlett.

* * *

_**Ehehehe...**_

_**This is the last one I will upload for tonight.  
BUT  
You shall have more...tomorrow...;D**_

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	37. Chapter 37

Random Spin-Off.

Loki was bored.

But he knew if he said anything, that damned Agent Barton would merely twist it around to make it a dig about him. So he stayed silent.

Until he noticed something rather amusing. "Barton..." He started slyly. "It seems there is a scratch mark on your bow from when we last fought." He stated with a smirk.

Clint glanced down at his bow, frowning when he noticed that Loki was correct. His head snapped up and he all out glared at Loki, making the demi-god's smirk falter slightly. "That. is. MAHOGANY." Barton raged.

* * *

**_Sorry I didn't update yesterday! D= I feel a little bad, so...I'll give you a choice. _**

**_Would you rather I uploaded ONE more chapter...or two? ;D_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**

**_(P.S; HUNGER GAMES FOR THE WIN! *Does a little dance* I can do the Katniss plait! I can do the Katniss plait, oh yeaaaah, oh yeaaaah. x'3)_**

**_(P.P.S; CONGRATULATIONS TO 'Arrows the Wolf' on being my 300th reviewer! =D WOO! YEAH! YOU GO GLEN COCO! ='D)_**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 14; Spin-Off.

Stark is glaring at Loki who suddenly smirks. "When I walk out the Bakery, this is what I see," He started to sing, making Tony hang his head and rub his face with a groan. "Katniss Everdeen is a'staring me, I got a loaf in my hands and I ain't afraid to throw it- throw it- throw it...I'm Peeta and I know it!" Starts to do a little dance from where he's sat.

Tony looks up abruptly. "Hunger Games?" He questioned. "...Oh Tony Stark you genius." He whispered standing up and heading out.

Loki looks at him in confusion. "The Hunger Games?"

Stark turns back to him and bows. "Thank you for your consideration and may the odds, be EVER in your favour." He said as he walked out into the corridor at almost a run.

"Hawkeye's gonna love this." He sniggered.

* * *

**_Quite a few people mentioned that they love The Hunger Games...so I couldn't resist. And someone mentioned that we have similar obssessions...so I present to you my obssessions;_**  
**_Doctor Who_**  
**_Hunger Games_**  
**_Avengers_**  
**_Anime (Such as Naruto, One Piece, Avatar; The Last Airbender, Soul Eater, Hellsing and Death Note)_**  
**_Harry Potter (SLYTHERIN! WOO!)_**  
**_Vampire Diaries (Cause those vamps don't sparkle)_**  
**_Skulduggery Pleasant_**  
**_Music_**  
**_Fanfiction (...no waaaay...-_- x'D)_**  
**_Having fun and being completely and utterly CRAZY._**  
**_Nail Painting (can I just say that my nails are currently Avengers themed right now, oh hale yeah. ;D)_**

**_Aaaaaaaand that's all I got so far...So how about now? ;D _**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**  
**_(P.S; Keep reviewing guys, cause I want to see if I can get to 400, and I've only got another 8 chapters left! x''3)_**


	39. Chapter 39

**Harry Potter; Spin-Off.**

Loki was laid down on the floor of the cage, his hands up behind his head comfortably. Just as his eyes started to close, Stark's irritating voice stopped him.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" He stared at Loki expectantly, who blinked at him several times.

"What the hell?" Loki asked slowly, hearing the genius mutter 'damn' under his breath.

Then Tony looked up again. "Hey, hey Umbridge! You'll never rule the world, you couldn't even rule the school." He smirked. "And you didn't show any remorse when you killed _all those people_...But hey, it's not our fault that you have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

Enraged, Loki stood up and slapped the glass of the cage. "WHEN I RULE THIS WORLD, I WILL. HAVE. ORDER." He roared, but his rage turned to confusion as Stark collapsed about with laughter. Scowling he continued. "You're just stupid." He insulted.

"STUPIFY!" Stark retorted gleefully.

"When I get out of here, I will kill anyone who does not bow down to me, because you won't be able to stop me. So when those people die, it's going to be all your fault-

Stark sat up, his face totally straight. "I blame the Nargles."

There was an awkward silence.

"Do you have to be so incrediably annoying?" Loki questioned in exasperation.

Tony grinned. "Always."

* * *

**_When someone asked for a HP one, I wasn't sure what to do...O_o But this is what my crazy mind came up with, so I hope it's ok! ^_^_**

By the way, GO CHECK OUT 'Loki Drabbles' by Fishing Four Finnick! They are SO funny! =D DO IT MY MINIONS! GO! GO NOW! =D

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	40. Chapter 40

**Doctor Who; Spin-Off.**

Loki was pissed off with all the nurses and pyschiatrists they had tried sending to him. They asked the most stupid questions, so naturally he had given back stupid answers which in the end, caused them to scream or shout at him before stalking off in a rage. Which as you can guess, gave him the highest form of amusement.

But there were too many, at least four a day now, and he was sick of it. They way they turned up differently, blaring music or dancing in or...whatever. It was annoying.

So when a whooshing sound started up from outside the cage, he groaned mentally. But his interest grew slightly when a blue police box began to materialize.

The door opened and a man peeked out, his hands in the pockets of his long brown trench coat which was open to reveal his blue coloured suit, which didn't really match with his red and white trainers. Sniffing once, the man stepped outside. Then he noticed Loki sitting in the cage.

"Let me guess. You're the Doctor." Loki snarled uninterestedly.

The man frowned in confusion. "...Uhh, yeah. How did you know?" The Doctor asked. "And why are you in there?"

"They've been sending me a different doctor four times for the past five days. And I'm in here because the Avengers caught me and put me in here because I'm going to take over the Earth. You know that, now fuck off. And tell them to stop sending doctors and nurses." Loki griped, sitting up and glaring at him.

The Doctor stared at him. "It looks like my work here is done then." He shrugged.

"What?" Loki questioned, not quite understanding how that had been over so easily.

"Well, I'm a...protector...of this Earth. I defend it from those like you who would want to take over it. But anyway what _are _you? You don't look alien. You're definately not a Timelord...you look pretty much human." The Doctor answered evasively, quickly turning the conversation back to Loki, who exploded with rage.

"I AM NOT, A HUMAN." Loki roared in fury, punching the glass so hard that it made a teensy tiny crack, to which the cage dropped slightly with a large creak, jolting Loki so that he nearly tripped over backwards.

The Doctor tutted disapprovingly. "Ah, ah, ah! Don't do that. And don't blink either. You never know when those blasted Weeping Angels are gonna show up n-"

"Doctor?" Steve Rogers voice asked incredulously.

"Ah! Captain Rogers!" The Doctor greeted, a grin lighting up his face. The Captain stood to attention and saluted him, to which the Doctor groaned but returned as swiftly as he could before dropping it. "Seems you survived the Second World War. What happened to Schmidt?"

Steve nodded once, a small smile on his face. "Gone. Lost, and probably dead, in space." He answered.

The Doctor nodded to Loki. "Well, I'd heard that the Earth was under threat by someone...but it seems you've done my job for me. Who is he anyway?"

The Captain gave Loki a hard stare, who glared back. "This is Loki, a Norse demi-god. The god of mischief from Asgard, brother to Thor who is King of Asgard. Way I figure, just another guy who wants to rule the world." Steve replied, shrugging as he looked back to the Doctor, who nodded before clapping him on the soldier.

"Well, call me if you need me." The Doctor grinned, winking at the supersoldier as he shut the door to the Tardis, disappearing again.

Just then, Stark's presence in the corner of the room became known. "You know the _Doctor?_" He questioned, slight awe in his voice, to which the Captain merely grinned and shrugged.

"Am I missing something? Who is this Doctor?" Loki quiered, feeling confused.

Tony snorted. "Doesn't matter. Just know that he could kick your ass all by himself."

Loki gulped.

* * *

**_That was a LOT longer than usual...O_o But hey. ^_^_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**  
**_(P.s; Spoilers. ;D)_**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Mix; Spin-Off.

Clint strutted into the detention area with a slip of paper in his hand, looking rather pleased with himself.

"What's that?" Loki asked, trying not to sound interested.

"It's a petition to get you a hamster ball. I mean, surely even fuck ugly hamsters like you get bored, right?" Barton snorted.

Loki frowned in confusion. "...What the hell is a hamster ball?" Suddenly he thought of something, and his face grew red with fury as he stood up and punched the cage in anger. "IF YOU'RE MAKING ANOTHER JOKE ABOUT ME NOT HAVING ANYTHING BETWEEN MY LEGS, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL-"

Clint couldn't hear the rest of Loki's threat due to how hard he was laughing.

* * *

**_I was so...Overjoyed with all your reviews, that I did the full dance to the Caramelldansen (original swedish version)._**

**_Just saying._**

**_But I think this was my most genius chapter yet. ^_^_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**

_**(P.s; To whoever it was that said 'who is doctor who'?...SHAME ON YOU. THAT IS THE FIRST QUESTION. THE QUESTION THAT MUST NEVER BE ANSWERED. DOCTOR, WHO. DOCTOR..WHO. DOC. TOR...**WHO**?)**_


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 25; Spin-Off.

The small tail swung back and forth as its bearer got closer and closer to its target. The grating moved aside, and the tail swished upwards due to the force acting on it as gravity acted on its bearer, who landed with a thunk on top of a cage.

Loki, who was sat on the floor inside the cage, looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.

The tail's bearer withdrew an arrow and nocked it on its bow.

Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton's deadly calm face stared back at the demi-god, as though he was oblivious to the hunting hat on top of his head. "Oi Deer." He called out, immediately gaining Loki's attention. "Put on the Helmet."

Loki swallowed nervously.


	43. Chapter 43

**Spin Off; Chapter 21**

Thor started chuckling out loud as he started to recall a memory from long ago back in Asgard.

_Loki called out for another drink as he stood up. Or rather, his failed stand up attempt as his legs collapsed beneath him as he fell onto the table amidst laughter, his coal black hair sticking to his face in whisps._

_"Brother! Any more drunk and you shall be dancing through Asgard!" Thor's voice boomed with laughter._

_"You must stop, Loki, I cannot breathe for laughter!" The Lady Sif gasped._

_Loki stood up a little more sucessfully and swept his arm out. "Nnnnnnno!" He slurred. "As my brrother suggesssstsss, we must DANCE. And SING, like the mortals on earth do! Li...Like THIS!" He roared with a hysterical laugh as he was left in nought but his boxers._

_Bellowing laughter was heard all throughout the hall as a drunken, slurred version of 'Barbara Streisand - Duck Sauce' was sung somewhat out of tune as the demi-god pranced through Asgard._

_Until he fell over in the middle of the road, where he was left for about five to ten minutes until Thor had finally calmed down enough to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes and take his brother back to his quarters._

_He had to come back for Loki's clothes later though._

Loki glared at his brother from inside the glass cage. "Now what are you sniggering at?" He spat coolly.

"I was just remembering a time, brother," Thor started, snorting momentarily, "when you were so drunk that you de-clothed and dancing through the streets of Asgard singing that human song 'Barbara Streis-"

"SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP, BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE." Loki screamed in horror.

"Too late." Steve laughed as he walked in. "We've all heard this story. What else do you do when you're drunk Loki?" He asked as he glanced at Natasha who walked in behind him, bearing a bottle of pure Russian Vodka.

Taking one look at the bottle in Natasha's hands, Loki whimpered and covered his face with his hands.

* * *

**_Ehehehe...^_^_**

**_Sorry I didn't update the yesterday, XD I...may have...kind of...forgot? ^_^"_**

**_BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS I SWEAR. O_O, So please review..._**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	44. Chapter 44

**Spin-Off of a Spin-Off;**

"HAKUNA MATATA!" Loki sang in a horrible key, making both Bruce and Steve wince from outside the cage.

"WHAT A WONDERRRRFUL PHRASE!" Natasha roared back with a high pitched giggle as she had one arm wrapped around Loki's shoulders, whilst the other held the Russian Vodka, holding it aloft like a trophy. "HAKUNA MATATA!"

"AIN'T NO PASSING CRAZE!" Loki trilled.

"IT MEANS NO WORRIES FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS!"

Then they harmonized. Horrendously. "IT'S OUR PROMBLEM FREEEEEEEEE!"

"PHILOSOPHEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Loki sang back as he reached for the bottle of vodka.

"NO!" Natasha yelled, punching him in the face so that he keeled over backwards, completely passed out.

Natasha merely took another swig of the vodka, making Steve frown at her in concern. "Natasha, don't you think you should take it easy on th-"

"NO." Natasha repeated just as loudly.

"Ok." Steve sighed. "I'll just wait for you to pass out too." He muttered under his breath, making Banner chuckle as he turned a page of the newspaper that Steve had brought him.

* * *

_**Ahahaha...I couldn't help it. It was amusing. XD**_

**_Kai XxxXxxX  
_**  
**_(Who is very apologetic about not updating recently, but exams arose and sued. Not to mention she has a maths exam tomorrow which she is doomed to fail, which is the reason she has deemed that it is acceptable to update tonight. ^_^)_**


	45. Chapter 45

**Really Freaking Random Spin-Off.**

Loki fumed from inside the cage as he glared at Stark, with whom he was having a full blown argument with.

"OH YEAH? WE'LL YOU'RE A SLUTTY RETARD." Loki finally yelled, annoyed with Stark's witty comebacks.

Stark raised an eyebrow, his hands in his trouser pockets as he leaned forwards from his waist towards the glass to emphasize his response. "LIKE YOUR FACE." He shouted back evenly.

Suddenly a random girl ran in, wearing a green top with the words 'I'd Kneel to Loki Any Day.' printed on it. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" She screamed wildly, gesturing towards a very shocked Loki. "HIS FACE IS BEAUTIFUL."

Another girl ran in and shoved her hard in the back. "BUT HE CALLED TONY A RETARD. LOKI'S EVIL, AND STARK'S SO MUCH PRETTIER ANYWAY!" She shrieked, her own red top having the words 'Stark Bitches Unite.' printed over her chest.

The fangirl fight ensued as they clawed, bit, scratched, slapped and hair-pulled at one another.

Both the men had gone very pale, and Stark sideled over to the cage door. "Uhh...Mind if I join you until it's over? I feel slightly...unsafe."

Loki nodded numbly.

* * *

_**Fangirls.**_

**_Enough said. O_o_**

**_XDXDXDXD_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	46. Chapter 46

_**Random Spin-Off (Cookies to everyone who gets the movie. ;D)**_

Steve gestured to the cage. "I'm surprised you haven't actually tried to break out yet."

The demi-god stared at him, his mouth hanging open slightly with a slight 'uh'. "Oh my god, you can't just _break out_. OH MY GOD STEVE YOU'RE SO **STUPID**." Loki screamed, tears welling up in his eyes.

* * *

**_I admit, I laughed writing this. xD_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	47. Chapter 47

**Spin-Off; Mmkay?**

Loki was pissed off with Clint's annoying little comebacks, so when Clint finally produced an Orange hooded parker and started mumbling 'mmmr mrrr mrr mmmmrmrr mrr!' in a high-pitch tone in which Loki supposed was an imitation of him, he sat up and glared at the archer.

"YOU KNOW WHUT?" He finally shouted. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Clint snorted and raised his eyebrow, his arms coming up in the 'what' gesture. "GO ON THEN FATASS!"

* * *

**_Someone asked for South Park, but I haven't watched it in YEARS, so this was the best I could come up with, sorry if it's not really good enough. Dx_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	48. Chapter 48

**Spin-Off; Grand Line.**

Loki was a bit skeptical when the Helicarrier had to open it's hatches that led to the sea below them. They said it was because the place needed airing, but Loki had no idea, because either way, he was still in some stuffy cage with Steve Rogers watching over him.

However, they both listened carefully when they heard a far off cry from underneath the hatch.

"GOMU GOMU NO...ROCKET!" Came an excited yell, echoed by screams of either 'LUFFY', 'NO LUFFY' or 'BAKA'.

Moments later, a young boy of about seventeen shot up through the hatch and faceplanted the floor.

"Ow." Came the muffled statement. Loki and Steve stared as the red-vested, three quartered jean, sandal wearing boy picked himself up and dusted himself down with a contented sigh before taking his straw hat and firmly placing it on his head. Then he noticed the two men staring at him. "Ah! Hey there! Name's Monkey.D Luffy, Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, future Pirate King." He introduced himself, beaming a 100 kilo-watt smile at them.

"Loki of Asgard," Loki started, "and I am burdened with glorious p-"

"Loki. You are an evil demi-god who tried to take the world by force and make humans your slaves, I don't think you deserve to introduce your self like you-"

Luffy suddenly perked up and cracked his knuckles. "Want me to beat him up for you?" He asked darkly, making the hairs on the necks of both men stand on end.

"No, thank you. He's already had that done to him." Steve smiled slightly as Loki retreated into himself with an angry mutter. Steve stood up and held out his hand for Luffy to shake. "I'm Captain Steve Rogers." He introduced himself. "My team and I just helped to take this guy and his army down, who were trying to take over the world."

Lights started to twinkle in Luffy's eyes. "UWAAA! You saved the world? AND you're a Captain too?" Slightly taken aback, Steve nodded. "Wanna become a part of my Nakama?" Luffy asked, grinning at Steve who shook his head.

"Uhh, sorry kid, I'm spoken for." He rejected the offer, making Luffy droop in sadness. "But thanks anyway."

Suddenly Luffy peered at him. "You must be strong. Do you have any Devil Fruit powers?"

"Devil Fruit powers?" Steve questioned with a frown.

"Yeah, like me! I ate the Gomu-Gomu no Mi, so I'm rubber man and can stretch any part of my body." Luffy grinned as he demonstrated, stretching his arm out and grabbing the newspaper off of Steve's lap, balancing it on the Captain's head instead. "See?"

Both Steve and Loki stared at him. "I've...never seen anything like that before." Steve admitted. "And to be honest, it's kind of creepy."

Abruptly, Luffy's stomach growled and he laughed. "Have you got any food? LIKE MEAT! I'm starving! AND MEAT IS THE BEST!"

Steve smiled. This kid was something else. "Yeah sure, follow me." He nodded, leading a talkative Luffy off down the corridor.

Taking a quick glance down the hatch, Loki noticed a ship sailing directly below it, of which eight figures were stood on it. A green haired three katana wielding swordsman, a short orange haired girl, a blonde guy wearing a suit, some weird long-nosed kid, what looked like a small dog/racoon/deer, a slender black haired woman, a large speedo wearing muscly guy, and oddly, a gentleman skeleton with an afro. The demi-god raised an eyebrow.

"Is this world full of nothing but freaks?" Loki muttered grumpily.

* * *

**_I THROW MY CREW IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYIN AAAAAAAAAYO, GOMU GOMUUUU NO! ='D_**

**_ONE PIECE FOR THE WIN! ^_^_**

**_Yep. Anime freak. You now know one. ;D_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	49. Chapter 49

**Spin-Off; Pleasant.**

Loki jumped out of his day-dream when three people landed in front of the cage. A young boy and girl, both looking as though to be in their teens, and a middle-aged man. But it was hard to tell due to the long coat, scarf, hat and glasses that he wore.

"Fletcher..." The girl said slowly, tucking a long piece of black hair behind her ear. "Where have you brought us?"

The blonde boy with the stupid expression and ridiculous hair shrugged, making the older man turn to him. "What was that?" He asked.

"I didn't say anything." Fletcher responded.

"I know, that's why I'm asking again now."

"Skulduggery, it's obvious he doesn't know. So let's just try again an-"

"Who the hell would have a name like Skulduggery? And where did you come from? What magic is this?" Loki snarled as he cut her off.

The man turned towards Loki and straightened up. "This here is Valkyrie Cain, my assistant." He introduced as he gestured to Valkyrie, who waved rather cheerfully. "And his name is not really important. In fact, he's not really important. Just pretend he's not here." Fletcher started to protest indignantly, but Skulduggery swiftly carried on as though there was no interruption. "My name is Skulduggery Pleasant. It is not the name I was given, but it was the name that I have chosen. So who might you be?"

"I am Loki of Asgard, the god of mischief, and I am burdened with glorious purpose." Loki introduced himself grandly with a smirk. "And you mortals are all of you beneath me. I will rule Earth, and you humans shall kneel to me, your king."

Silence met this, in which Loki's smirk faltered slightly. But it was replaced by shock as Skulduggery removed his disguise, revealing his skeleton self as he clicked his fingers and summoned a flame, Valkyrie getting in a defensive pose as shadows swirled around her.

Fletcher took out a mirror and started brushing his hair until Valkyrie slapped it out of hands.

"We can't let you do that." Skulduggery said in an even tone.

"Calm down Skul-features," Tony's voice rang out as he entered the room, "we've got it under control. He won't be coming out any time soon. Now...why are you a skeleton?" He asked as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

Valkyrie decided to end the conversation before it could even start. "Long story. Besides, we're trying to save the world. So if you'd jus-"

"Ah. Fellow world-savers." Tony nodded, looking as though he fully understood.

"You save the world?" Skulduggery asked, extinguishing his flame.

"On a day-to-day basis."

"Personality?"

"Genius, egotistical, billionare, playboy, philanthropist who has managed to privatise world peace and has recently become a part of a functional, world-saving team who are all incrediably talented now that they have been allied to my brilliant genius...ness." Tony rattled off.

Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie, who sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming. "You see?" He questioned, tilting his skull. "Someone who understands exactly what it is like when you're saving the world. You have to be brilliant, have a huge ego, be incrediably witty, and have a large vocabulary at your disposal."

Tony kissed his palm and held it out to Skulduggery's direction. "Great minds think alike."

"Yes well, we're currently trying to save the world, and if Fletcher doesn't teleport us to the RIGHT place this time, Skulduggery, I'm counting on you to beat him up."

"Why do I have to beat him up?"

"Because you do."

"That isn't a reason."

"Yes it is."

"Why is it?"

"Because I said so." Valkyrie smirked triumphantly.

"You've been spending too much time with Tanith." Skulduggery grumbled before turning to Stark. "Make sure he doesn't get out."

"He won't, trust me. Now, go do your world saving...duty." Tony waved farewell as they disappeared with a crack of light.

Loki ground his teeth together. "Are mortals really this stupid?"

Stark snorted. "Uh, excuse me. Who's the one sitting in a cage?"

* * *

**_Someone asked for a Skulduggery Pleasant one, and I couldn't resist. I know someone else asked for Family Guy one, but I don't watch Family Guy, sorry. =/_**

By the way, if you haven't read the Skulduggery Pleasant series, GO READ THEM NOW. O_O Seriously! Nefarious Serpine and Skulduggery Pleasant, STILL A BETTER LOVE STORY THAN TWILIGHT. X'''''D  
**_  
Kai XxxXxxX_**


	50. Chapter 50

**Spin-Off; Big Bang Theory.**

Tony looked over to Loki as he took a sip of his scotch. "You look sad Loki. One cries when one is sad." He commented.

"Shut up." Loki hissed irritably. "You mewling quim."

The genius carried on as though there had been no interrruption. "For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad."

* * *

**_Someone suggested BBT, and I was like YES. So...x'D_**

Also, someone else asked for Hetalia or DBZ...=/ Sorry, the only anime I've watched are;  
Naruto, One Piece, Hellsing, Soul Eater, Death Note and Howl's Moving Castle. x')

Kai XxxXxxX


	51. Chapter 51

**Spin Off; Cake.**

Loki felt relieved as a random agent passed him his food on a tray and promptly left. A sandwich, apple and a carton of milk. Without the straw. He frowned. What was the problem with these idiots? Did they seriously think that giving him a _straw _was so dangerous? Now how was he supposed to drink the milk?

With an angry huff, he picked up the apple and stared at it for a second rather warily. Just as he raised the apple to his lips, a loud 'crunch' sounded from the opposite side of the apple. Startled, he turned the apple around and noticed the huge hunk of apple that had been bitten out.

He jumped in shock as the apple was suddenly lifted out of his hands, floating in the air as it disappeared bite by bite. A huge alien like thing abruptly appeared out of thin air, with large crazy eyes and large black feathery wings, his grin showing off vicious pointy teeth behind his blue lips. "Thanks for the apple." The thing rasped. "The name's Ryuk, Shinigami whose Death Note belongs to Light Yagami, aka Kira, who is doing a better job of killing off the earth than you are." He chuckled.

"I mean to rule them." Loki growled. "I am the Norse god of Mischief, and I am burdened with-"

"Well that's no fun." Ryuk interrupted as he performed a handstand in mid-air. "It's pathetic, rather like you. I am a Death God, a Shinigami. I can write anyone's name in my death note and they will die." He grinned wickedly. "In comparison, you are a _puny _god."

Loki's breath caught on a sob at the last sentance. "RIGHT IN THE FEELS!" He screamed as he curled up into himself.

A little computer in the corner switched on, blank only for a large intricate L in the centre of the screen. "Is it because I'm the only one eating cake?" Came the distorted voice.

* * *

_**Ok, I'm going to warn you all now.**_

_**There will only be another six chapters.**_

_**You have six chapters left before the end, and I shall update one a night.**_

_**I am being kind, because I could have uploaded them all tonight, but I thought no...I'm gonna be nice and keep you on tenterhooks. Oh, I know a lot of you have been sending in requests, but some of them I don't know/watch, and others I think;**_

_**No.**_

_**I know this is sounding all harsh and everything, but I assure you that I am saying this in Moriarty's tone.**_

_**Damn. I've just given you a hint. Never mind. For all of you brave enough to continue reading these next few chapters, a few words;**_

_**Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity.**_

_**;D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_  
_**(*Grabs a bow and starts playing it randomly.* What? It helps me to think.)**_


	52. Chapter 52

**Spin-Off; Symmetry.**

"It's beautiful!" The voice cried in wonder, dancing around in his black suit that had three solid white stripes on the shoulder, his golden eyes sparkling in delight. "It's perfect! It's beautifully symmetrical."

Loki felt a tick mark start to appear in his forehead. He couldn't take this freak much longer. "It's. Just. A. Fucking. Cage." He ground out.

Death the Kid turned to him scornfully. "UNLIKE YOU, IT IS PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL! YOU SHALL SLEEP WELL EVERY NIGHT KNOWING THAT YOU ARE IN A CAGE OF SUCH SYMMETRICAL BEAUTY."

Finally, Loki snapped. "Oh yeah? Well have you looked in a mirror recently?" He yelled, gesturing to Kid's hair, which was all black except for the three white stripes which only appeared on one side of his head. "Look at your hair! That's even more unsymmetrical than I am!"

Kid wailed aloud and dropped to his knees, pounding floor with his fist as his self-hating, pitiful cries echoed down the corridors of the Helicarrier, of which Natasha and Clint immediately entered, Natasha helping Kid up and convincing him that he was fine. Vaguely, Black*Star could be heard in the background, complaining that Kid was stealing the spotlight again.

"What?" Loki asked innocently. Clint raised an eyebrow and let out a whistle before hurrying past the tiny white figure that came in. Loki frowned at the newcomer. "What are y-"

"BAKAMI!" It shouted at him, pointing a white cane in Loki's direction. "Now then, hail to my song! Excaliburrr! Excaliburrrr! From United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to Californiaaaaa!"

Loki's hands covered his face with a groan.

* * *

**_Ehehehehe..._**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**

**_(By the way, for anyone who's interested, I just finished watching [bbc] Sherlock - The Reichenbach Fall. Ohmygod did I cry. I actually bawled. my. EYES out...I won't spoil it, but if you think you're not into Sherlock, then you can't say that until you've watched at least the first episode. You get SERIOUSLY hooked. o_O)_**


	53. Chapter 53

**Spin-Off; Of Mischevious Norse Gods and Avenging Emo Ninja's.**

Loki rested his chin on his hands and glared at the blonde, orange jumpsuit wearing kid who was grinning at him in happiness. "What's wrong with you loser?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh, it's just that we'll be finally bringing you home Sasuke." The blonde said, his grin getting even wider.

"Sasuke?" Loki questioned in confusion.

The kid blinked and was about to open his mouth when a weird hysterical chirping filled the air. "MOVE NARUTO! DIE ITACHI!" A younger looking version of Loki burst in, crackling blue lightning filling his palm. Loki couldn't breathe for laughter, making both kids stop in their tracks, Sasuke's lightning fizzling out. "I-I don't understand. Why are you laughing Itachi?"

Loki took a deep breath to calm himself. "Your hairstyle, looks like a fucking duck." He stated, trying and failing not to snort with laughter.

"SASUKE! FINALLY! YOU'VE GOT TO COME HOME." Naruto yelled as he stopped laughing.

"NOT UNTIL I KILL ITACHI!" Sasuke screamed, his eyes blazing Sharingan.

Loki rubbed his temples. "I AM NOT ITACHI, AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO HOME TO ASGARD, BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME FOR TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD." He finally hollered, his voice echoing inside the cage that left the two ninja silent.

"BUT LOKI!" Thor thundered as he walked in. "YOU MUST COME _HOME._"

"See? Someone that understands." Naruto commented as he shook hands with Thor, grinning at him.

"I don't WANT to go home Thor. You are annoying. Weak enough to think that you and these miserable mortals can live alongside one another." Loki hissed.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and gestured to Loki. "...Hn. Someone DOES understand..." He murmured.

"COME HOME." Naruto and Thor pleaded with the mischevious norse god and avenging emo ninja.

"SOD OFF." Sasuke and Loki screamed in unison.

* * *

_**Myeh. Hope it was ok...xD**_

_**That's enough of the anime methinks, because a lot of people don't watch anime, so it's kind of unfair. Oh well.**_

_**I will upload the LAST. TWO. CHAPTERS tonight.**_

_**So don't forget to review now, and later! =D**_

_**Kai XxxXxxX**_


	54. Chapter 54

**_WARNING: SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER.  
SECOND WARNING; We're back to the 'normal' spin-off's. ^_^_**

Random Spin-Off (Thanks to Vex for the idea! XD)

"YOU ALL THINK OF ME AS A FREAK DON'T YOU. SOME FROST GIANT FREAK. WELL I KNOW HOW I SEE YOU." Loki yelled, even though there was no one there. He gave a slight breathless laugh.

"They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard! My elf eyes see everythi-Oh wait no I think I'm a BIRD."

"I can see into your soul and find the answers I need. Not only that but I steal your soul, because I'm a heartless russian ginger, and gingers DON'T HAVE SOULS."

"What do you mean my spangly outfit would only be accepted in the circus? I CAN'T GO BACK THERE! Ok, I'm not talking to you, talk to the shield."

"I AM MIGHTY THOR. BUT I AM A STUPID THICKHEAD BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I AM TOLD I WILL STILL TRY TO TALK TO MY BROTHER ABOUT COMING HOME, EVEN THOUGH HE NEVER WILL."

"Pew, pew, pew! I can't hear you over how awesome I am, check out my page at ManSlutsStark dot com!"

"Yes, I am a science bitch but don't make me angry because otherwise I'll turn into the jolly green giant and TRY AND KILL MY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE PUNY AND WORTHLESS COMPARED TO THE ANGRY RAGE MONSTER I EVOLVED INTO, BECAUSE I DECIDED TO BECOME A LAB RAT."

Loki was stood panting with the amount of shouting he had done. But as Banner rounded the corner, armed with a hardback book, his face adopted a look which clearly said;

'Fuck'.

_  
_**BAD LOKI! And so Loki learnt not to take the mickey out of the Avengers. x'D**_

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	55. Chapter 55

**Spin Off;**

The splayed out sleeping figure of Loki was a rare one, but the silence had been bliss, and exhaustion had taken over as he fell into a light sleep in the middle of the cage.

Of which the grating was directly above.

The one that Clint was standing on, holding a pie in one hand. Removing the grating, he waited a moment, before dropping the pie on Loki's face, replacing the grating, and darting off into the shadows.

Loki awoke the moment the pie hit his face, spluttering as he sat up hurriedly and wiped as much as he could off of his face, spitting it out in complete and utter disgust.

In a rage, he grabbed the pie tin, about to throw it at the glass in a fit when he caught sight of a label that had been attatched to the bottom of the tin which heralded two words.

'_PIE FLAVOUR'_.

* * *

_**Couldn't resist...;D**_

**_But that my friends, is the last one._**

**_I am TRULY sorry, but I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing._**

**_If any of you are interested, I have started writing three other Avengers fanfics that I will soon post the first chapters of. If you think you might like to read them, then put me on Author Alert and watch for my posts. =)_**

**_I'd be delighted if you did, but no pressure, cause I'm not like that. ^_^ I just like the idea that people actually READ my fics. x'D_**

**_They're called Identity, Trust Me I'm the Doctor, and Good To See You Watson. I think you can guess what two of the fics are going to be about. ;D Oh, and I MIGHT...Put up another chapter of Order from Mischief. ;D_**

**_But thank you SO much for being the EPIC...SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE. ='D_**

**_Yours _**_always_**_,_**

**_Kai XxxXxxX_**


	56. Chapter 56

**AUTHOR NOTE.**

**O**_**k. Well...I happened to go on my Tumblr, and there was a list called '**__**62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.'**_

_**Naturally, I decided; 'I've got to do this'. **_

_**So, I will be posting a chapter a night on a new fic called '**__**62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do'**__** based upon this list that I found. **_

_**I assure you, you will be rolling in your seats.**_

_**Your faithful Author,**_

_**Kaitaru Seras Viktoria Hatake.**_

_**XxxXxxX**_


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